A Word From The ULK Ministry Of Security & Excitement
Kyokka do you know what has happened?! A zit! A plump, half ripe mountain of a felony has set up base on my face. A pimple so huge, it looks like a teabag has attached itself to my cheek. This simply...
View ArticleLet’s Get Naked
You have seen the press releases. You have watched the video clips. The guys have written about it. But here’s the thing. The girl has not. I’m talking about the 411 Legendary Party. After the men...
View ArticleTOP TEN: Miss Kyrte hits back at a dude, and finishes him off with a smiley
Hello angry bastard. I know you hate me right now, but because you loved me before last Friday, which is when you started hating my guts, I know we still have hope. I swear I did not mean to: 1....
View ArticleThe Get Cool Quick Guide For Dummies
Growing up, he used to chase lions as a hobby; He now just chases cats since there are no lions in Bwaise. Here’s something from Balamaga Rogers Do you feel sad, feel unlovable and invisible...
View Article#ThatAwkwardMoment
They say she comes from outer space, where for four hundred and fifteen years, ancient turtles trained her in the deadly art of making jokes and generally being the life of whichever party is in a...
View Article#ICan’tDateYou
By Ninjaress MoRoots So the trend that caught my eye on twitter this week was #ICantDateYou… people proceeded to let rip of reasons why they won’t date people. Several ideas sprouted like green beans...
View Article7 Reasons Why You’re Not A Superhero
By Ninja Michael Kyeyune The new Spiderman movie is just about the corner and it’s got people thinking: Why don’t I get bitten by radioactive insects (commonly known as Nsanafu)? Why don’t I get to...
View ArticleChicken Found Dead On Man’s Plate
By Ninja Gerald Ainomugisha a.k.a Six Wheeler In a shocking horrific discovery, residents of Kimbejja village in Kyaliwajjala woke up to the shocking discovery of the mutilated dead body of a chicken....
View ArticleThe Origin Of The Rolex
By Ninja Gerald Ainomugisha a.k.a Six Wheeler One wise man once said, “Spain is not Uganda. Because in Uganda, Rolex is not a watch” I find loads of truth in this sentence… well, apart from the wise...
View ArticleAn ATM Withdrawal. Or An Attempt At One
By Tom “Hollywood Heffe” Rwahwire Hello. I’d like to make a withdrawal. Of what you man. Lol. Of money. What else. Which money. Now see this one. Dude, just spit out the money. ATM doesn’t stand for...
View ArticleBunyoro Vs BuBritish: Game On!
By The Ungoddamnstoppable Ronald Mayanja It is unamazing how historical events unfold… When the British were taking artifacts from Bunyoro kingdom in the 1800’s, it is more than likely that the King...
View ArticleHow To Become A Kiprotich
By The Last Airbender Kuzooka Conrad Good morning class? *Class stands up!* Good morning Mr. Kanabi! Now, dear childrens, I want to teach you how to be a Kiprotich. It has come to our notice that...
View ArticleThis Is What Will Happen To You At Campus
By The Undisputed Fish Drowner Balamaga Rogers Campus is opening soon and freshers can’t wait. But with all the inviting anecdotes you’ve heard from friends and older siblings, I understand why you...
View ArticleThe Acholi finally famous!
It was announced earlier that Uganda would be getting its first ever total lunar eclipse somewhere in Acholi land next month. This news was received with proclamation that 30,000 tourists will come...
View ArticleMPS GO FOR IPAD TRAININIG
A peek into what will be happening at the MPs iPads training. Trainer: Do you have your iPads with you? MPs: Yes. Trainer: Turn them on! MP for Gulu: How sir? Trainer: Do you all see the button at the...
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